As I Raise My Hands by Julie Short

Am I constantly about “My Father’s Business?” So immersed in, focused on, God, not wanting to be distracted by the world. I must not be here on earth for me, living MY life, but be a vessel God can

Use for His Kingdom.

I sometimes raise my hands in church, I thought as a surrender to God.

But, what does surrender mean? Doesn’t it mean giving up one’s self? According to the dictionary: To yield to the possession or power of another.

There have been many times in the last five years that I have said, if I had a white flag I would surrender.

I often wanted to surrender to the pain and agony of death of my daughter Kyra. I wanted to give up

Saying I can’t take the pain anymore.

So am I at a place where I am willing to totally give up myself, my dreams, my wishes, to give up me?

Only then will I be able to receive God when I raise my hands. Yes, this week I heard God say, raise your hands and receive me that I can live through you. Wow, I must be emptied out, I must surrender me, surrender all, only then can I receive God. I now see that we are pipe lines that God can use from heaven to pour out His mercy and grace, pour out His love. But He can only use me if I am empty; if I allow me- selfishness to clog me, the pipe- then God cannot use me. It is only when I surrender all

And receive God and allow Him to flow through me can I truly be what God intended.

I now see that when I raise my hands, I empty myself out and receive God, He then flows through and out into the world for others to see, experience.

My attitude must go,

Attitude according to the dictionary is: a manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc., with regard to a person or thing. Tendency or orientation.

Attitude according to God’s Word: Philippians 2:5 Your attitude should be the same as Christ Jesus.

I often find myself thinking and saying I need an “attitude adjustment”

Orient: To adjust with relation to, or bring in due relation to surroundings. To familiarize with new surroundings or circumstances. To direct or position towards a particular object.

I wonder if my attitude is based on my attempt to hold tightly onto myself. I can’t put into words how

The thought of raising my hands to receive God has affected me. Why can’t I give it/me all up and surrender all?

I think there are moments in the last few months that I have. I think it is a continual process; I continually die to self, give up self, surrender self and all to God. Only in those moments can I truly receive God and all He has to pour into and through me.

Why is it so hard to give up myself, it’s not like it has served me well?

Apart from God, I am broken, wretched, so why would I want to hold onto broken and wretched, when I

Can have unfathomable peace and joy?

It’s like I am holding onto me and I am a dead decaying carcass and I am protecting me screaming it’s mine and you can’t have it. Who would want it? God sent Jesus to die so he could remove the dead decaying carcass that is stopping up His pipe. He paid for us to free us to have victory over death. Yet, I continue to hold on. Yuck, what’s up with that?

I wonder if my bad attitude is a reflection of my holding onto a smelly decaying carcass. Would my attitude change if I surrendered the smelly carcass to God?